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[ jinnie ]indescribable JOY! =) April, 2007 How I Became a Christian
February, 2006 Julian Beever!!Oh man, I found those a while back, but didn't know I had these till deniz asked me about them. Julian Beever is SO COOL! He does these crazy 3D street arts. The paintings are actually FLAT, but they look 3D. Check them out!!
This is what they look like:
Here are some other ones:
Check out more in my photo album February, 2006 An Excerpt...It was finally here -- Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family. Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a stringed quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David’s other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?” She whispered to David.
“I’m…I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor.
“Who are these girls, David? What is going on?” She gasped. “They are girls from my past,” he answered sadly. “Anna, they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given part of my heart to each of them.” “I thought your heart was mine,” she said. “It is, it is,” he pleaded. “Everything that’s left is yours.” A tear rolled down Anna’s cheek. Then she woke up. Betrayed Anna told me about her dream in a letter. “When I awoke I felt so betrayed,” she wrote. “But then I was struck with this sickening thought: How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband?”
I often think of Anna’s dream. The jarred image haunts me. There are girls from my past, too. What if they showed up on my wedding day? What could they say in the receiving line?
“Hello, Joshua. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today. I hope you’re better at keeping promises now than you were when I knew you.”
“My, don’t you look nice in that tuxedo. And what a beautiful bride. Does she know about me? Have you told her all the sweet things you used to whisper in MY ear?”
There are relationships that I can only look back on with regret. I do my best to forget. I laugh them off as part of the game of love everyone plays. I know God has forgiven me because I’ve asked Him to. I know the various girls have forgiven me because I’ve asked them to.
But I still feel the ache of having given away my heart to too many girls in my past.
Excerpt from Joshua Harris's book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/summary.htm I just want to start this off wishing everyone a Happy V-Day. Valentine's day, to me, is one of the best ways to portray God's love by loving a special someone.
I do want to warn though to "guard your heart and make wise decisions." Contrary to many people, I've decided to stay single so that someday I can say to my future husband "I've waited my whole life for you. It wasn't easy, it was painful, but I wanted to save my heart so that YOU can have my WHOLE heart."
God bless. Image and Self-Esteem
One of my friends asked me this question recently: "how come you never wear fancy cloth or makeup?"
This is something I want to address. (And if my opinion differ from yours, I hope you won't be offended.)
I find that a lot of girls today dress to please, whether it's to please themselves, or other people, I'm not sure. But we are sending a negative image to the society.
Image we are sending to Guys
I believe that just about everyone can look good if they tried. But think about it, if a guy likes you just for your looks, how much are you worth to him? He'd soon find a prettier girl and abandon you. When we try to look "good", we not only let the guy's imagination run (which in itself is dangerous), but also we don't allow them to love us for who we are but rather what we look like. We gotta show them that we are more than just pretty faces. Self-esteem
You are worth more than just how you look. I know that seems hard, (I struggle with this too) especially when no one looks like magazine covers. But dressing to impress comes off to me a lot of times as being insecure. People who are insecure about their self-esteem (I'm not saying everyone) tend to be extremely conscious about how they look, and we think that without looking good, somehow our self-esteem is lowered, or even destroyed. Of course my opinion may seem a bit extreme to most people, but girls, I urge you to dress more modestly. Looks may win a guy's heart in the short run, but a gentle and kind heart lasts much longer. After all, beauty doesn't last forever. Will the guy still love you when you're 50? January, 2006 Imposture :(Apparently someone is pretending to be me, leaving weird comments on other people's sites. I have an idea of who this person might be, but please stop doing so. January, 2006 Calvin and HobbesHey guys! Happy new year!
Here are some Calvin and Hobbes. Enjoy! haha
November, 2005 BIG YOU.........small meOh man. Nov 22 was the Passion concert and it totally blew me away. It took the whole universe for me to understand just how BIG God is.
Recently I've been feeling a bit down and I realized the reason is because I've been focusing SO MUCH on myself. Me me me. I forget just how tiny I am and how BIG God is.
"It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small." ~ Neil Armstrong
And to know that God is SO BIG that He can hold the whole UNIVERSE in the palm of His hands, that He SPOKE and said let there be light and light came out of His mouth flying at 186,292 miles per second! That He SPOKE and the sun came into being. A ball of fire.
It would cost the gross national product of the United States for millions of years for a local power company to run the Sun for even one second!
Where am I in the picture? Not even seen. God is SO BIG, and I am so small. And yet this whole time, I still have this desire to be praised and even worshiped by others. We all do. We all want to feel significant and big and awesome, and even want to be gods. We focus so much on ourselves, what about me? me? me? I'm so good, or, why doesn't anyone love me? Look at me! pay attention to me! But we are only specks of dust... compared to God, oh man, we are SO small. But as small as we are, we all wanna be the king of the universe. We gotta stop focussing on ourselves.
Another picture I wanted to share is the Core of M51 Whirlpool Galaxy. Isn't this amazing? God's going like.. you guys paint with acrylic and oil and stuff? Guess what? I'm gonna paint with star dust. And He created this cross. And many, many others.
What I'm most amazed about is the fact that we are SO SMALL and yet God would care for EACH of us.
This is Jesus. The same God who made the WHOLE UNIVERSE, He took the shape of a human being, of a servant, came down and died for us JUST TO SHOW how much He loves us. With each nail pounded in, He was hung FROM the nails. And to breath, He had to pull Himself up from the nails with each breath. We are specks of dust, and yet He cares enough to even die for us. Even the hairs of our heads are NUMBERED. Despite the fact that we are SO SMALL. I... can't begin to comprehend. November, 2005 Draw me close
In the midst of my storms, I'm reminded of this song:
Third Day - Cry Out To Jesus
From the album Wherever You Are To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time You feel like the days you had were not enough when you said goodbye And to all of the people with burdens and pains Keeping you back from your life You believe that there's nothing and there is no one Who can make it right Chorus: There is hope for the helpless Rest for the weary Love for the broken heart There is grace and forgiveness Mercy and healing He'll meet you wherever you are Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on They’ve lost all of their faith in love They've done all they can to make it right again Still it's not enough For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains You try to give up but you come back again Just remember that you're not alone in your shame And your suffering Chorus: When your lonely And it feels like the whole world is falling on you You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus Cry to Jesus To the widow who suffers from being alone Wiping the tears from her eyes For the children around the world without a home Say a prayer tonight for those of you who know what I'm going through, and what I'm about to go through the coming Monday, please pray for me. Thanks :) September, 2005 Prophesies of Katrina...
I said I wouldn't blog until summer, but ... I was wrong. This is pretty crazy: August 29, 2004
After Chuck discussed traveling from Wisconsin directly to Louisiana, he prophesied: "From the North to the South, I am ready to awaken two winds that will awake the nation. There are resisting forces in both states that will cause our nation to not move forward. Go up and down and decree that the wind of God will awaken in both places. The states will shift in a new way, or the nation will not shift and will go backwards." Later when addressing the Saul structure in Baton Rouge, Chuck prophesied: "How the Saul structure collapses will bring Baton Rouge again to national attention. That alignment within it will collapse. A new demonstration with a new blueprint will be seen. This will be known as a meeting house. This will be known as a place where the Ark of the Covenant has dwelt. This will be known as a refuge place. The WIND and WATER will rise in the midst of New Orleans. Many from the south will come north for refuge. Prepare. Prepare now for winds and water that will surprise you. I will renew the pattern not fully seen before. Worship will be here, and birthed in a new way from here. Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Shift! Saul will be no more. David will arise from this day forward. The wind from the south will begin to blow. Watch for the effects. This will purify the land and bring great change." Then, in Alexandria that night, Chuck shared from Song of Solomon 4:16 (Awake the north wind; come, o south wind. Blow upon the garden of this nation). He led the people to pray for the south wind to come. This south wind would be a purifying wind, cause corruption to be blown on, and cause corruption to shake and initiate a righteous move starting with the children, then moving to the youth. We were to watch the government and the Catholic Church shake, and watch New Orleans change. Then Chuck prophesied, "I will put a mantle on African Americans in this land. That which was brought in through parts of this state and held people captive will let go. I will send the wind up the Mississippi River, and this wind will shake Missouri. You will see the land shake in Missouri because of the wind from Louisiana. Get ready. Don't brace yourself. Throw yourself up. Get ready, for the new is coming. Every place I blow on will shake. The wind is coming on Louisiana, and it will shake the entire state. I will fill churches. The south, purifying wind of My holiness will sweep across Louisiana. People will be on their faces in malls and shopping centers. Boldness will come upon My people in Louisiana. There is a worship call. Get ready -- the wind is about to blow. The river is changing courses. You will be one of the first that changes." Blessings,
Chuck D. Pierce
==
Another prophesy was by John Mark Pool. It's pretty long so here's an excerpt. If you want to read the whole thing it's at http://www.wordtotheworldministries.org/new_page_1.htm
This morning I heard the abundance of a mighty earthquake having just occurred in the heavenlies. A major shift is taking place in God’s realm of the spiritual and the supernatural. Yet again, I was overwhelmed that I felt He impressed during this time that our country will experience soon what I saw in the spiritual—major earthquakes and extreme flooding. Flooding was seen in the central and the Southern United States. I saw New Orleans literally 20 feet underwater across the main downtown area. At this time of flooding in New Orleans, I saw it as a sewer full of debris and every form of garbage floating around and swirling in the flood. The French Quarter will be wiped out in the flood. Bourbon Street will be abandoned. Alligators will be swimming where dens of iniquity once abounded. Sin’s investors will let go of the territory. They reside in other areas and will be seeing this as a place of unstable investment for future plans of sin. God’s Kingdom investors will step in and be allowed to bid on properties abandoned by the sin investors. Then the superdome will be available to purchase for 1/10th of a cent on the dollar! This will one day be called the "Glory Dome" as a move of God will be based out of it and make it a "Healing and Restoration Center" grabbing worldwide attention. This Glory Dome will go on continually on a 24/7 basis. ("9 The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts." Haggai 2:9 KJV.) New faces, new places, divine appointments and doors are swinging wide open! This is a year I saw in a short vision of an open heaven with throngs of worshippers near the throne room, as the music began a specific melody continuously, then circles of worshippers began to form in large circles with one group right in front of another all dancing to the right and the next in the same rhythm to the left and so on. The idea for you to see is one circle going around one way and another just inside that circle with people going the opposite way. They are all moving in unison to the glorious music from the throne room and worshipping the Lord of Hosts!
By no means am I trying to offend anyone here. I feel deeply sorry for those that have lost the lives of family members and friends and I'm touched by how people have come from all over the country to help with the relief. But I am reminded by God's wrath, and how as a human race no longer afraid of God, thinking we are so powerful, God's power is still more than we can imagine.
For those questioning "why would such a loving God do something so terrible?" Refer to my post below about "why do bad things happen". September, 2005 School & Dan BrownAnother school year. I'm really getting used to the 4 months summer (still in the summer mode actually). but seeing the course overview this year, I think I'm actually going to enjoy it. there's a lot more hands-on stuff, and way less textbook styled learning. :D we also have this course called communications and design. The course is built on projects, so a lot of creativity involved. feels like CyberARTS all over again in a way, so I'm excited! I miss Cyber :(
I won't be bloggin' for a while I guess, seeing how busy things will get. so... see you all in eight months! :P [ I might drop in for a surprise once in a while though :P]
While you are here, here is an excerpt from Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, taken from Darren's site. I find it quite interesting:
Science may have alleviated the miseries of diseases and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident. Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God's world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning... and all it finds is more questions."
The ancient war between science and religion is over, you have won. But you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing answers. You have won by so radically reorienting our society that the truths we once saw as signposts now seem inapplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthroughs. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the car. Yet only decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, and as religion is left behind, people find themselves in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning. And believe me, we do cry out. We see UFOs, engage in channeling, spirit contact, out-of-body experiences, mindquests ¡V all these eccentric ideas have a scientific veneer, but they are unashamedly irrational. They are the desperate cry of the modern soul, lonely and tormented, crippled by its on enlightenment and its inability to accept meaning in anything removed from technology.
The promises of science have not been kept. Promises of efficiency and simplicity have bred nothing but pollution and chaos. We are a fractured and frantic species moving down a path of destruction. Who is this God science? Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers? The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad. Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction, and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea.
Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travels the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures, but it is the church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions. You encourage people to interact on phones, video screens, and computers, but it is the church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we were meant to do.
To science, I say this. The church is tired. We are exhausted from trying to be your signposts. Our resources are drying up from our campain to be the voice of balance as you plow blindly on in your quest for smaller chips and larger profits.
You even murder unborn babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the church who points out the fallacy of this reasoning.
And all the while, you proclaim the church is ignorant. But who is more ignorant? The man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect its awesome power? This church is reaching out to you. Reaching out to everyone. And yet the more we reach, the more you push us away. Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God! You ask what does God look like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss Him! You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of gravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of heavenly bodies, and yet you fail to see God's hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply choose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater than us?
Whether or not you believe in God, you must believe this. When we as a species abandon our trust in the power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountability. All faiths are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, something to which we are accountable. With faith we are accountable to each other, to ourselves, and to a higher truth. Religion is flawed, but only because man is flawed. If the outside world could see this church as I do looking beyond the ritual of these walls they would see a modern miracle a brotherhood of imperfect, simple souls wanting only to be a voice of compassion in a world spinning out of control. August, 2005 KagayaThose artworks blow me away. Kagaya is an artist that builds ALL his works from scratch! Absolutely mind blowingly amazing works!
Check out more in my photo album here. August, 2005 When life hurts... why do bad things happen?a bit older, a bit wiser, a bit more pain healed from lessons learned. time does heal wounds... I've spoken to quite a few friends recently who have gone through quite a bit of turmoil. One of the first things people ask me is: "you are a Christian, if God really exists, why do bad things happen?" Before I begin, I want to say something: I am not trying to offend anyone here. Below is just my own opinion. If I come off as being insensitive, please forgive me. First of all, one of the questions I often ask people in return is: "if God doesn't exist, why do good things happen?" A plane just crashed recently at the Toronto airport coming in from Paris. I was shocked see it bursting up in flames. Fire trucks surrounded it, highways were jammed from the airport to what-nots. The smell of burning rubble was so strong that I was able to smell it where I lived, an hour away from the airport. And yet the miraculous thing is: NO ONE died, not even one person on that plane. I thanked God that no one perished, and one can't help but note that it was truly an act of God. There is also beauty in this world. I often spend a long time just gazing at the sky during sunsets, marveling at its beauty. The sky darkens very quickly during the summer. In about 20 minutes, it changes from radiant sunlight to dusk. Each minute is another picture of beauty, astonglishing, takes my breath away. I love art and I believe that God is truly the best artist. When scientists try to find a solution to a problem, they often look for the simplist answers. It's always the most beautiful answer that is the correct one. I love capturing nature on my camera, those are always the best photographs. I wonder to myself sometimes, if this world was just caused by random cosmos, WHY is there so much beauty in this world? Now, moving onto the core topic: If God exists, why then is there pain and suffering? Why do bad things happen? I would like to divide up the question into three cases. 1. Self-inflicted pain 2. Undeserving evil but preventable 3. Undeserving bad things that were unpreventable 1. Self-inflicted pain I don't know about you, but to me, heartaches are the worst pains I've ever endured. It drowns me in a sea of suffering, I see no end to it. Nothing helps whether its poetry, music, or art. Music usually makes me sadder when I go through a heartbreak. I still remember my last heartbreak, over a guy whose name shall rename unknown but he knows who he is. God clearly told me not to give out my heart, friends warned me, my family was... well.. I went behind their backs... The result: heartbreak. Heartbreak due to disobedience. And the funny thing is, I'm the kind of person that takes years to get over a guy. Funny eh? But this year when I finally got serious about God, and one day I got down on my knees and begged God to take away the pain, ever since then, I've been so much better. Self-inflicted pain are results of disobedience. You do something wrong, you have consequences "All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy." - Excerpt from Mere Christianity by C.S.Lewis 2. Undeserving evil but preventable There is evil in this world, no doubt. It brings me to tears when I watch Channel 9 and see the kids in Africa with no food, poor shelter, and no family. It angers me to see kids getting raped and abused, to see fathers and sometimes even mothers abandoning their kids. It aggravates me to see the way people treat the homeless, and even calling them lazy freeloaders. 9-11 made me silent. However, evil doesn't prove God doesn't exist. Evil proves that Satan exists, that sin exists. God gave us freewill, He gave us the option to do things wrong, to hurt and be mean to others. It breaks His heart, but He allows these things to happen. It does NOT mean, though, that God does not care or that He is powerless to do anything about it. I'll explain why later. 3. Undeserving bad things that were unpreventable People getting sick, people dying, natural disasters wiping out half a continent. These things are unpreventable. We can't do anything to stop them, it is out of our power. When things like these happen, people often wonder: "Why me? Is God punishing me? Why is life so unfair?" All three cases describes something in common: pain. Pain you wish you didn't have, that should go away but doesn't. And you wonder why God (if there is a God) doesn't stop the pain. "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but SHOUTS in our pains, it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world" - Excerpt from The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis Have you ever done this? When things are great and all, God doesn't seem to be present at all! But when trouble starts coming your way and you have nowhere else to turn, you start praying. I know I have... There are times I've said "yeah yeah God, let me just run my own life ok? I'll enjoy it whatever way I can" But then when trouble started coming my way I started praying like "okay God, I'm sooooooo sorry , ummm.. listen, if you do this for me I promise I'll be good for the rest of my life... etc. etc." Sounds familiar? "You will never know that God is ALL you need until God is all you got left." Hardships draw us closer to God. I didn't intend to come to the University of Toronto for engineering. I had an entirely different path in mind. But somehow God brought me here instead. My first year as an engineering student was the HARDEST year of my life, and yet it became a year where I got closer to God than I've ever been in my whole entire life. Funny how things work out. God often put hardships in our paths because it is the ONLY way to get our attention. "Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will be your darkest days -- when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you are out of options, when the pain is great -- and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest prayers. When we are in pain, we don't have the energy for superficial prayers." - Excerpt from Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren I recently received news of the death of the father of a close friend of mine. It broke my heart to see the once joyful girl broken, in such great pain. I couldn't help but ask God, "why her? She loved you, Lord! Why not take the life of someone's father who hated you instead?" When I talked to her after her father's funeral though, she said something that awed me. I had asked her how her spiritual life was and she had said she was closer to God than she's ever been. When I commented on how it's amazing that she was seeking God more instead of forsaking Him because of this, she answered me with: "are you kidding? what is there to cling to if it's not God??? Especially when it seems like nobody understands!" I don't know if I told anyone this but I have a disabled cousin. My cousin's disability has brought much pain upon this family, and we all love him very, very much. My cousin, however, is the only reason why we are all here today, my whole entire family. He's also responsible for salvation of part of my family, when my Aunt had nowhere else to turn, she turned to God, and she brought some of our family to Christ soon afterwards as well, including me. "When you grasp the eternal consequences of your character development, you will pray fewer "comfort me" prayers and more "conform me" prayers." People comment on how it's unfair that God sees people suffering and yet He doesn't take their pains away. Many people say that perhaps God is powerless. If you choose to say "God can give a creature free-will and at the same time withhold free-will from it," you have not succeeded in saying anything about God: meaningless combinations of words do not suddenly acquire meaning simply because we prefix to them the two other words "God can." - Excerpt from The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself.- Excerpt from The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis Besides, how can a mere finite human be sure that infinite wisdom would not tolerate certain short-range evils/pains in order for more long-range goods that we couldn't foresee? Also, some pain is good for us in order for us to learn. But why do bad people get away with sin all the time? I've been asked Justice delayed is not necessarily justice denied. Criticizing God for not doing it right now is like reading half a novel and criticizing the author for not resolving the plot. On judgement day, justice will be done! And how much pain is too much? One philosopher formulated an argument against God this way: First, there is no reason that would justify God in permitting so much evil rather than a lot less; second, if God exists, then there must be such a reason; so, three, God does not exist. This is like saying it's reasonable to believe in God if six Jews die in a Holocaust, but not seven. Or sixty thousand but not sixty thousand and one. When you translate the general statement 'so much' into particular examples like that, it shows how absurd it is. There can't be a dividing line. At what point does suffering disprove the existence of God? No such point can be shown. Besides, because we are not God, we can't say how much suffering is needed. Pain as a test: Most people are familiar with the story of Job, but for those of you that aren't, I'll briefly summarize, it's in the Bible too, so look it up if you have time. Job was a righteous man who did everything that God was pleased with. As a result God blessed him abundantly. One day, however, Satan came up and commented: "you know, Job is only righteous because you have given him so much, take it all away and see if he still worships you." So God gave Satan the power to take away everything God has given Job. Job's sons and daughters died, his land was looted along with his animals. Job was in great pain and did not understand why God had done something like this. He was so sad that he wished he had never been born. And yet he said "should we accept good from God and not trouble?" Finally, he got an response from God. God was pleased that Job passed the test, and in return God blessed him abundantly once again. The Ultimate Pain -- Hell Perhaps one of the hardest questions about Christianity. Why would a loving God send people to hell? To answer this question, we need to know what Hell really is. The definition of hell has been long misunderstood by this culture. Even many Christians do not know what hell really is. I believe hell is just a place where God is not present. I know that the Bible describes hell as a place of flames, worms, and gnashing of teeth, but a lot of times, the Bible uses symbolism to demonstrate its points and I think this is one of them. I don't think there are actually flames in hell, because it would make no sense. hell is described as a place of complete darkness, fire would simply light things up, which would contradict it. It is a symbolism that represents the fact that hell is a place of utter heartbreak. It is a loss of everything, and the worst possible situation that could ever happen to a person. I think the worms are in reference to Jesus' days when there was a sewage system for the blood and fat of dead animals to flow, where it gathered in a pool, There were worms constantly ingesting that. It's to describe how ugly hell would feel. Gnashing of teeth is meant to describe a state of anger or realization of great loss. In a sense, hell is just a place where God is not present at all. It's described as such a terrible place because you will get to meet God before it, and catch a glimpse of the most beautiful Being in the universe, and be kept forever apart from Him. Hell is a place of eternal regret. No, God doesn't "send" people to hell per se, we choose there by saying "God, I want to have absolutely nothing to do with You", and God grants us that wish by deserting us, leaving us in a place where He is not present at all, and we spend eternality regreting that decision. For those that are suffering in pain right now, here's a word of advice. Draw closer to God and He will draw closer to you. Knowing God is NOT a magic wand, it doesn't mean your pain will go away instantly, it does mean, however, that you will be transformed by pain, by trouble. That you will be a stronger person able to handle future hardships. It means that you will come to know this God more and more and draw nearer to Him, which will have eternal impacts. Have a blessed day. Some quotes in this entry are taken from Lee Strobel's book "The Case for Faith" July, 2005 Anne GeddesJust uploaded some of Anne Geddes artworks. Enjoy! =) Awwwww aren't they cuuuuuuute?
<Hmmm I think they are tired>
<Awww ain't she just a flower? I mean.. ADORABLEEEEE?>
<Mother and a child>
<Lookie!>
For hundreds more, check out my photo album. Feel free to browse around the pictures in the other folders as well. =)
July, 2005 A Search for SignificanceHow many of you have ever used this equation: Self worth = performance + others’ opinions I know I have, most of us have. We crave love and fellowship and intimacy and we turn to others to meet those needs. The problem with basing our worth on the approval of others is that God is the only one who loves and appreciates us unconditionally. Often we avoid people and situations where the risks of failure and rejections are high. We try to say clever things to be accepted. We try to attain fame and success and riches to feel better about ourselves and to gain acceptance.
“I am what others say I am” But isn’t it amazing we turn to others who have perspectives as limited and darkened as our own to discover our worth rather than relying on God’s steady uplifting reassurance of who we are? We often help other not because it’s the kind thing to do but because we are in need of winning their approval or to be appreciated. We often cannot say no because we so desperately need their approval. But how quickly an insensitive word can destroy our self worth that we worked so hard to achieve! The world is full of people who demand that we please them in exchange for their approval and acceptance.
"You have value in the eyes of God so great that it was worth dying for. You are a blessing to the world. You are so precious to God that heaven will not be complete without you."
Now how significant are you? Even the hairs of your head are NUMBERED! "You are fearfully and wonderfully created." - Psalm 139:14 God said so in the Bible. Do you know this Jesus? Do you know how precious and SIGNIFICANT you truly are?
[some quotes are taken from Robert S McGee's book The search for Significance] April, 2005 more to this life...I was watching a healing session yesterday where the blind, mute, crippled, etc. were getting healed by preachers. People were throwing away their crutches and jumping for JOY. And I was just thinking to myself, If Jesus was merely a man, then why are miracles taking place all over the world? Why are all the countries that are being the most blessed Christian countries? (Why aren't people calling on their gods and getting saved in other parts of the world?) Why were predictions on Jesus made thousands of years ago, and all of them came true? and you know that little bit of land called Israel? So small that it could have been overrun a million times sinces hundreds of years ago? Why does it still exist and why do we still hear about it every now and then? Because God made promise to Moses thousands of years ago that it will be his land forever, and it's still there today. It will never be overthrown. I learned something quite recently. This life isn't about me. If I had became a Christian because I thought that when I became one, things will start going my way because God is on my side, then I'd have gotten a huge disappointment coming my way. But it's not about me. I've met some people recently that have been telling me.. "You know, I gave God a try and He hasn't been "working" for me, He didn't make my problems go away." It was then that I started thinking.. why do people reject God? It's because they think that God would make their lives full of candies and flowers once they believe in God. God never promised that things will "go your way" because you had asked things will go your way in a prayer. It's not about being selfish and making things go nice and smooth. It's about having a relationship with God and trusting Him when things get tough. some quotes I thought that are worth quoting: "Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless." "I observed that the basic motive for success are the driving forces of envy and jealousy!" "You remember what is important to you. If God's Word is important to you, you will remember it!" "Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will be your darkest days -- when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you are out of options, when the pain is great -- and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest prayers. When we are in pain, we don't have the energy for superficial prayers." "You will never know that God is ALL you need until God is all you got left." "When you grasp the eternal consequences of your character development, you will pray fewer "comfort me" prayers and more "conform me" prayers." "Happiness depends on external circumstances, but JOY is based on your relationship with God. " My friends, have you ever felt that indescribable JOY in the midst of your trials and storms? That pure, indescribable JOY that's not based on success, on riches, or fame, or anything else, but just... JOY that's just SO GREAT that you just cannot contain it? A JOY that lasts and not just fades away when things get tough?...I Have, and I still am. Think about it, why work so hard for success? When you die, it's all gone. Why work so hard for money? Can you take it with you when you die? Why fame? would it matter when you leave this world? I'm not saying don't preservere. But.. think about it, why do you do the things you do? You must have a purpose for everything. What's the purpose of your life? Or are you just living day by day without a reason? There's more to this life than just living and dying. There's only ONE THING you can take with you when you leave this world. Your relationship with Jesus Christ. It's eternal. March, 2005 wow. wow. wow.my family gave their lives to Christ today... March, 2005 I want to know You, no matter WHAT the cost.As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
- Psalm 42:1
[Edited (October 31 2005), includes 1 new testimony] Hey guys! How are you all doing? Good I hope. I want to share with you guys 3 testimonies of what God has been doing in my life the past school year as a result of prayer and I hope that you guys will not only be amazed by what God can do, but will truly realize the power of prayer and how it can transform you.
I've known Christianity for nine years. The first eight years, I was in a HUGE doubting stage, because I did not KNOW God. I searched into all the religions and scientific proofs that I could find, looking for answers. WANTING to know the TRUTH because it bugged me so much. I didn't want just blind Faith, I wanted ABSOLUTE solid proof of God's existence. I was involved in fellowships and such, but I didn't know if I was in the right place. This year, I finally prayed "God, if You are out there, SHOW ME YOU. Because I want to know You. And I want to know You, no matter what the cost." And not only did He show me scientific evidences, but I personally experienced God as a result. Before, I was starting to develop a personal relationship with God, but I still doubted, and I'd pray, but doubted my prayers as well because I didn't think they'd work.. until .... Below are some of the testimonies of what happened, others are too personal to share. Thanks to the help of UTCCF, Klove, and many others, I was able to finally come to the realization that I need God and I need to pray, and my life has been SO CHANGED since then.
Testimony 1:
After winter retreat of this February, when I first realized the importance of prayer, I started saying this prayer. "Lord," I said, "I want to know You more. I want to let go of all these strongholds I still hold on to. I want to know You, no matter WHAT the cost." "No matter what the cost?" God asked. "Yes, no matter WHAT the cost."
Around that time, I was getting pretty addicted to MSN (a chatting program) and it really became a stronghold in my life; so a few days after consistently praying this prayer, BOTH of my computers broken down at the same time. It was odd, because they were both working perfectly fine before. My desktop started giving me the "blue screen of death" every time I turned it on. My laptop’s AC adapter refused to supply power to the laptop properly. Only in off mode would it charge up the battery in the laptop and the only way I can use the laptop is by waiting till the battery has power, then turn it on and use it. And it would only charge 2% of the battery per night when the laptop is off, which allowed me to use the computer for about 5 minutes per day only. At first I was frustrated. But remembering my prayer, I said “Lord, have it Your way.” And God gave me peace.
After several weeks of having almost no computer, I came across an assignment that needed to be typed up on the computer and handed in. (The professor wouldn’t allow handwritten assignments). Being last minute, I had to either pray for a miracle or get up at 6 a.m. the next morning and go to school to do it. Knowing that God always provides, I got down on my knees and asked God for help. After I prayed this prayer, I turned on the computer. A couple of minutes later it started up. I expected myself to work quickly because it would run out of battery and shut down pretty soon. Even 10% of battery would be a true miracle, I thought to myself. When I logged in, I checked the battery indicator on my bottom right hand screen: "96% battery remaining." It said. The highest percentage I've seen in WEEKS!! Praise the Lord!! By the time I managed to finish the assignment and printed it out, the battery ran out and the computer was shut down. Later on after five hours of charging I tried to turn on the computer to go on MSN (yes bad me), it refused to turn on, indicating that there's no battery left. I tried again hours later, still nope. God gave me just enough battery power to finish my assignment, not to chat and waste my time.
Testimony 2:
I was born in a family of doctors. Being health-conscious, my family never allowed me to eat anything but healthy food. It got to a point where I was SO SICK of healthy food that I simply stopped eating much of anything. After that, for the past…. 18 years, 3 meals a day, it turned into World War 3 and every meal ended with food being shoved down my throat. Around February when I really started seeking God and before my computers broke down, God started speaking to me about eating through 1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” So after I told God that I wanted to be closer to God no matter what the sacrifice and my computers broke down, all of a sudden, my appetite started increasing A LOT more and I was able to eat for what seemed like the first time in my life.
My family noticed the SIGNIFICANT change immediately. When they asked me what was going on, I told them that God is transforming my life, and they believed. For years they tried everything from giving me acupuncture and medicine to severe punishments in order to make me eat, NOTHING worked. And they were the doctors, the experts on how to increase your appetite. It wasn't that I wanted to be rebellious, I just had no appetite. But all of a sudden, I started to WANT to eat! And then I shared the Gospel with them. I then started to pray consistently for my family for a month. I remember one Saturday; I was down on my knees in tears. "Lord," I said, "I just want my family to know you, because you are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and my family is not even a part of it, they don't even understand." I was in tears, begging for God to open their hearts and their eyes so that they can see and believe this awesome God. And that was the day that God finally answered my prayer. My family accepted Christ!!!
For nine years as a Christian without prayer, my family did not change. 30 days of prayer, and they accepted Christ!!! 18 years I had NO appetite what-so-ever, my family of doctors tried EVERYTHING to get me to eat, they couldn't. 1 week of prayer with Christ, I was able to eat when I couldn't for 18 years!! These that have known me before can tell you how much healthier I look. My friends, prayer is powerful!!
Testimony 3:
The second semester last school year was one of the most challenging semesters of my life. By March of this year, I was so discouraged that I wanted to either quit or transfer out of electrical engineering at University of Toronto. My average around that time was 20-30%. I was getting 0s on assignments and quizzes because I had no time to study, I was tired, I understood nothing, and I was very, very far behind. And I started asking myself, where IS God in my studies? Am I studying for God’s glory or for my own glory? What I realized was that I was trying to handle things on my own and I was doing things for my own glory. So I started to REALLY SEEK GOD in my school work. Around that time, a brother of mine, Mathias, just accepted Christ. And we and several other friends started meeting up EVERY SINGLE DAY to pray and seek God. But despite all the prayer, my grades did not improve and I started to get VERY frustrated. But God told me that He was still in control. By the end of the school year, God had given me two verses:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest in me. -- 2 Corinthians 12:9
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes. -- Psalm 91:7-8
At the time I thought God made a mistake or something. To pass I needed a 60% average and based on math calculations, there was NO WAY that I could even get a 50% average, but I knew that ALL things were possible through God, even the impossible. When exams came, I studied VERY hard for them, trying to rely on God. But I came out utterly disappointed. I sat through most exams utterly clueless of what was going on. My calculus exam for example, consisted of multiple choice questions each worth 7%. Getting 4 multiple choice questions wrong would have meant failing the course for me.
I was not very thankful during the waiting period for the marks to come out, but God was very faithful. He taught me truly how to TRUST in Him in the unknowns, even when darkness seemed to surround me. When the marks finally came out on Tuesday morning, I prayed for a 50%, I prayed that I would at least repeat the courses instead of being kicked out of U of T altogether. And then I saw my average: 59.8%. It rounded up to a 60%, meaning I was half a percent away from failing. It also meant I passed ALL my courses. I was SOOOOO AMAZED I broke down in tears. Edit: I later on found out that out of the 345 first year students in my second semester classes, 53 people were forced to transfer out of U of T or engineering at least, and approximately 50% of the people failed each course, even after bell-curving, and some failed more than one course. I would've easily been one of these people!!!
I know that hearing testimonies isn’t the same as experiencing them for yourself. And I do pray and hope that you guys realize the importance of prayer and the amazing things God can do, and that you will get a chance to experience them for yourselves. Thank you. February, 2005 Dating and Relationships
First of all, why do we date? We all want someone to love us and to let us know that we are significant, that we are loved and cared for. It's the key to our lives. But, more often than not, I see relationships around me with people that date for the sake of dating. They feel like if they don't date, they are missing a huge part of their lives. A lot of relationships, in my opinion, are very superficial, and are not at all based on love. People date to look good, to satisfy their lust (lust and NOT love). More often than not, they date for selfish reasons, they care more about how they themselves feel in a relationship and what THEY want rather than the significant other person. They date with no marriage in mind, but more of a "play it and see, if we end up marrying each other in the end, cool, if not, oh well". But think about it, if you are not going to marry the person in the end, why date them in the first place? You'd end up breaking each other's heart somewhere down the road anyway. Dating today is so unhealthy that even a two year relationship is labelled a long term relationship. No wonder there are so many more divorces! Don't look for temporary relationships, look for lasting relationships. I guess it's true that physical attraction plays a big part in a relationship at first. But, after a while, you'd realize that it's not the physical attraction that will get you through a relationship, but a person's personality. Think about it, does the person love the real you? Or just your outer shell? Is the person seeing you as a lust object or a real person? The best way to see what kind of a person the other person is is by observing him or her in the middle of hardships. If the guy is having a bad day, would he still treat you well? You might be dealing a lot with that in a marriage! Also, when we focus more on receiving rather than giving, we cannot excel in relationships. When both parties in a relationship focus more on what they get rather than expressing their love for the other person and giving to the other person, the relationship is bound for failure. One last point, you may especially not agree with me on this one. I believe that God has the perfect person in mind for all of us. Our job is not to go crazy looking for the right person and put aside all other things in life until we find the person, but.. God wants to train us to BE the right person for the other person first. So we should be patient, wait, and in the main time, train our characteristics and personality to be more and more attractive. If you've never taken care of kids, it's time to start! If you can't manage your money now, you might just be in trouble 10 years down the road. If you have no patience, I can guarantee it won't work well in a relationship. Stop looking for the right person, start being the right person! We also have to search with marriage in mind. When beauty fades, would you still love this person in fifty years? And, can you face the bigger picture? Marriage isn't all sweet, there are also huge responsibilities that you need to learn how to handle beforehand. Singleness is a gift. You have freedom and have opportunities to do certain things in life that you never will be able to again! Take advantage of it and do not view it as a curse. (If God loves you so much that He is willing to give out his only son, why would he hold back on giving you a boyfriend/girlfriend? God must know what's best for your life at this point~) of course, we were meant to love and be loved and everyone wants that special someone. It can be the most incredible feeling in the world. Be patient... one wise thing you can do is pray for God to guard your future husband/wife's heart, so that he/she will not give into foolish decisions and temptations right now, so that someday he/she can be presented to you pure as a bride. Remember also, your FIRST love. God loves you so much that He wants your heart, your whole heart right now. Learn to serve God first. A Godless relationship will not work. Love is Patient, Love is Kind, it does not ENVY, it does not Boast, it is not Proud. It is not Rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. (read this passage carefully and analyze it, do you know what love REALLY means? is your love for the other person conditional? Is it only a temporary fling? If the person has done something terribly wrong, would you forgive him/her? Or, would you never speak to him/her again? be wise and be patient, true love is worth the wait. Before love is anything else, love is patient - 1 Corinthians 13) [ i hope no one is offended by what i wrote, it is after all my own opinion. I am not discouraging anyone from seeking relationships, but to be wise. after all, the heart is not something you should mess with ] Why am I single? I believe that God has perfect timing for everything. The wrong time for the right thing is the wrong thing. Right now, there are other things in my life that should take priority. I also need to be moulded into the right person before I go into a relationship. As much as I want a boyfriend right now, I know that if I do get one now, I will never be able to understand the phrase "ALL I need is You Lord". And, knowing God after walking with Him for so many years, He's always given me the VERY best, not second best, not mediocre, the VERY best. So why settle for second best when you can wait for a while, trust in the Lord, and receive the very best? Also, I believe that if I jump into relationships now that don't quite work out, they can potentially have an affect on a successful relationship in the future. Your heart sometimes never quite get over a certain person, and it'll only hurt your future marriage (but that's just my opinion). I'd rather remain pure for now, and I want to give God the best years of my life. Being single can be tough and lonely sometimes, but it's always good to have a great family and great friends for support! =) thank you guys.
Thanks to Joshamatt for the ideas for these two images. Some quotes mentioned in this entry are taken from Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" For more information, click here. January, 2005 Please pray for the homelessWithout our help, they are hopeless...
the weather has been unbelievable recently, the coldest I've experienced since i moved to Toronto. I can't begin to imagine how the homeless are trying to make it through. They definitely need our help, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. The guy that I pass by everyday on my way to school is still there, I don't know how he's making it through considering how little money he receives from these that have sympathy on him everyday. I haven't gotten a chance to really talk to him yet because I'm always late for class so I'd always rush to school. There's also this lady that's living in a bus shelter on Spadina. She's 60 years old and speaks only Cantonese. It puzzles me how she became homeless in the first place though, since Chinese are usually more considerate of their elders. Nevertheless, a 60 year old woman simply should not be living on the street in a weather like this. There are near by homeless shelters but she refuses to go in, either for pride or for other reasons I do not know. In December we gave her some blankets and canned foods. I don't know how she's making it through but yeah, we'd definitely have to keep her as well as the other homeless people in our prayers. If you are complaining about how cold and slippery it is and how you have to walk in the cold or wait for the bus everyday, think again, there are always those that have it much, much worse than you. I'm sitting here, typing this on my laptop in front of a heater in my room, it's warm inside here. But outside I see a world of white. The wind is just unbelievable. -40 degrees celsius is definitely not a good environment to live in, especially if you don't have a coat to even wear, and you are hungry, cold, and lonely...
One more point I want to make: people have such a misconception on the homeless, they think these people are just lazy bums. Think about it, these people CANNOT get work because you need an address and a phone number in order to get any job, and you cannot go to an interview smelling like garbage. Plus the already inclining job loss rate, how much of a chance do they have of getting a job, even labour work? And labour work wise, if you have gone on for days without eating and you are weak and hungry and thirsty, how qualified will you be to get the job? How did most of these people end up on the street in the first place? A lot of the younger ones came from broken abusive homes. The older ones were usually unsuccessful in careers and had depressive problems, but of course not all fall into this category. As a society though, I am angry at how inconsiderate and selfish we are. December, 2004 CHRISTMAS!!!!!! :Dso glaaaaaaad it's almost Christmas!!!!!!!!!! this is the first Christmas in ages when I'm not bombarded by Cyber ISUs and exams to study for, etc. and... for me it's also the first family reunion in 10 years!!! WOW I'm SO EXCITEEEED!!! plus everyone from waterloo/queen's/mcgill/western etc are coming back, YAYYY!!!!! plus it's snowing!!!!! :D |
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